1. It is raining or windy outside so let's start the fire inside the tent.

2. Pitching the tent or swag in a "dry" creek/river/gully bed with a storm coming.

3. Setting up camp below the high water mark on an ocean tidal riverbank. (That actually was pretty funny to wake up with waves washing through the swag).

4. Testing the pan toffee (liquid molten hot boiling sugar in a pan over an open fire, usually eaten AFTER it cools down and hardens) with a finger (I still can't believe he did that) and the very next day putting an unopened can of baked beans in the fire to warm them up... Mental Note never go camping with this guy ever again.

5. Driving away from the campsite to get some supplies with the tent still set up and roped to the car.

6. Watching with no concern the kids go swimming at dusk, with dogs, in an ocean inlet next to where fishermen are cleaning fish and where signs are posted saying "beware shark infested waters" (When we told the local Police they just shook their head at the stupidity).

7. Leaving dinner meat out to defrost inside a tent in bear/crocodile country and expecting the animal to not tear the tent to pieces trying to get at the meat. At least it was in a plastic bag so the flies wouldn't get at it.

8. Camping near the edge of a cliff, getting up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, tripping over the tent rope and over the edge of the cliff.

9. Doing the dinner washing up in crocodile infested waters. Have these people no idea how fast those things are? They can drag grown horses into the water. Oh yeah and then that night going swimming in the same river. They must have had some serious angels watching over them.

10. Using petrol or gasoline to get that stubborn fire moving along nicely in wet weather. I knew it was stupid but thought I would be able to step back quick enough, gee that fireball moves fast! I know we said 10 but can't go past these last two...

11. trying to hand feed (take your pick we have heard them all) that cute looking possum, baby bear, fox, fruit bat. The claws people, what do you think the claws are for?

12. Too tired at the end of the camping birthday party to clean up the leftover food and woke up in the middle of the night to find every possum within about 30 miles having a fight over the leftover chocolate birthday cake. But wait here is the good bit, when I went outside (in my undies) with a broom to chase them away they ran at me, actually ran at me and tried to bite/attack/slash me!

I had gone from a warm cosy bed to being attacked by possums in my undies in the middle of the night, all to save some chocolate birthday cake.

On that note hope you had a good laugh and hope none of these things ever happen to you.

Another time we will post an article on some of the fishing misadventures we have had and seen and heard about. Please let us know your favourite stories for the new book...